I have SO MUCH to tell you... But since we all need to start somewhere, how about I start with the grossest stuff?
We were gone for ten days. We closed our bedroom door so that the pets, who have a tendency to get temperamental when they miss us, and have on occasion puked on our bed accidentally on purpose (the cat) or had diarea on the carpet (the dog) would not be able to trash the place.
But what we didn't know is what was left behind those closed doors. It was something puny, something laughable and insignificant. Something no larger than a flea.
A flea, in fact.
When we opened the doors to the bedrooms ten days later, home sweet home, she, the flea, had become THEM. It wasn't immediately obvious, but by the time I had sat five minutes at my computer, I knew something was terribly wrong. I looked down at my itchy ankles and saw a good twenty fleas feasting on me.
I. Freaked. Out. The scream must have been heard within a 15 miles radius. A flea infestation in my home sweet home!
Now what my husband and I did next was in turn, horrible, pathetic, ridiculous, ingenuous, cruel and all around disgusting.
The fleas were starving, attracted to our body heat like a magnet, and were all over us (horrible). Pants would not do: too loose, so we donned our longest socks --in 93 degree weather (ridiculous) to protect ourselves as we figured out what to do next. I have mentioned before that my husband will not EVER use chemicals to kill bugs, so we had to come up with a solution, and burning the house down wasn't one of them, although tempting let me tell you. We began to vacuum the room while wearing our long socks (pathetic) We also needed to quickly kill the fleas that climbed up our legs, but couldn't because they jumped immediately off to another part of the body (horrible, pathetic) So we used saran wrap to capture them (ingenious, ridiculous) before popping them between our nails (gross!)
Now we were vacuuming in our socks in 90 degree heat, covered in cling wrap, pecking at each other like two flea-infested baboons and realizing in despair that considering the prodigiously rapid life cycle of the flea this would take us the rest of our lives.
So we had an idea. SPCA people please close your ears. What we did was release the dog into the room (cruel! ingenious!) In instants the dog was covered in fleas, probably a hundred fleas, maybe two hundred. Then my husband and I took the dog outside and spent the next three hours combing the fleas out of her and dipping the fleas into soapy water to kill them, then returning the dog to the room for a refill, and back at it again with the flea combs, all the while congratulating each other for being complete geniuses.
The dog, however, isn't speaking to us.
(by popular demand I have added a picture of what I look like at the moment)
So sorry to hear your story Corine...I HATE fleas!!!! AND, I hate to tell you this....If you have carpet, your problems are not over! You must immediately go to the pet store and buy flea killing powder to go into any rugs or carpet as fleas lay eggs that can be dormant for days and they WILL appear again. And protect your pet with FRONTLINE (I sound like a commercial!) Call the pet store or vet immediately! Good luck. Penny PS. I ordered your book...can't wait for the read! : )
Posted by: Penny Herring | July 10, 2011 at 09:46 PM
It doesn't sound like an exactly fool proof system - but best of luck, hope one flea didn't hide from the dog....
Posted by: Flamingodancer.wordpress.com | July 11, 2011 at 02:35 AM
ja, ja ! Very ingenious!!!
Posted by: alicia | July 11, 2011 at 07:03 AM
please put front line on dog today, the fleas will still jump on him but will not bite, fleas can give your dog worms. another way you can do it is place big bowls of water and a lamp over it, they will drown themselves. also citrus spray if you have an air conditioning, blast it till the windows fog up that vacuum. use borax in the laundry.
now that is a welcoming, if only there was pictures of your outfits. honestly sounds like a nightmare.
Posted by: nadia | July 11, 2011 at 07:24 AM
That is both awful and hilarious! And no judgement here!
Posted by: josephine | July 11, 2011 at 07:34 AM
Oh my lord, that is hilarious! I had a friend who had a similar problem and their whole family took to wearing anklets made of eucalyptus leaves to ward off the fleas.
Posted by: Laura | July 11, 2011 at 09:33 AM
am i the only one who would have used chemicals while my husband was away?
I HATE BUGS! (exception of butterflies and praying mantises).
Posted by: Feng Shui By Fishgirl | July 11, 2011 at 09:53 AM
I'm itching just thinking about it. Sorry, but you might have to wear saran wrap to come to my house! Just kidding, but maybe we'd better sit outside next time...
:-)
Posted by: Robin Pickens | July 11, 2011 at 10:23 AM
epic! i have done battle with fleas since arrival in l.a. but i have never, and will never.....do this! pass the chemicals please!
there are some things people just don't warn you about l.a.............
Posted by: mlleparadis | July 11, 2011 at 06:33 PM
That is hilarious! I hate bugs too! Sorry to hear your story Corine.
Posted by: Silver MLM | July 14, 2011 at 04:33 AM
OMG, we had this happen to us too, years ago with a crawling baby no less.....nothing worse and we ended up pulling up all the carpeting in the house! and we did the dog trick too :) brilliant people we are...
Posted by: linda | July 15, 2011 at 05:18 PM
what a story... truly unreal.
years ago, my brother was petting our sweet dog when he felt a lump on her neck. we took her to the vet and he kindly told us "you are so lucky, this tick on your dog was about ready to have babies"... we almost died...
glad your situation turned out ok... whew... never a dull moment... xx
Posted by: pam | July 15, 2011 at 09:58 PM
I AM SO SORRY- BUT ENJOYED READING YOUR FLEA STORY.
Posted by: Dayna | July 25, 2011 at 06:54 PM