I'm not clear on the source, but this was sent to my (Jewish) husband by his (jewish) lawyer today.
"In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22.The following response is an open letter to Dr. Lauraposted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia
PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)"
3 meals a day all summer,visitors galore, kids materializing at the house at all hour, usually hungry. Summer and vacations are not synonymous for us professional housewives. I need to get myself one of those: (via web urbanist)
Where have I been? Well you're asking the wrong person. I'll tell you when my spinning head is screwed back on. I was everywhere it seems, like a blur, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New York State, planes, trains and automobiles, and a whole lot of Universities. Our family has survived the epic college tour of 2010 and i'm thinking of having t-shirts printed out to celebrate.
We lived out of the content of three suitcases for ten days and it took the five days since we got back to make a dent in their festering content. Three boys and one girl and ten days of accumulated stinky laundry tightly trapped in suitcases, the odor jumping at my throat like a sick jack in the box every time I zipped the suitcases open to add a bra or a pair of socks.
I can travel and I can relax but never those two at the same time, which means I saw those beautiful places and idyllic looking ivy league campuses through the bias of feet, gum and bowel discontent, my bowel soon becoming the increasing focus of my preoccupations to the exclusion of most everything else. I'm still trying to get over the trip. Last night I had what i would call a post traumatic dream: I was sitting on a high tech toilet with a computer screen attached that calibrated the size of my poops.
I'll try to post some pictures (NO... NOT OF MY POOPS, OF COURSE!) in the next few days.