I've been pretty negative on this blog this past week. Then I read a post by Visual Vamp saying that she is feeling an itch to create a new blog. I thought, Eureka! I could simply create yet another a blog. The new blog would only deal with my negativity. I'd call it: "Taste of my Self-Rightousness".
That way I would not offend you nice people who are so lovingly tapping at my door for a cup of tea and a cookie, and end up with a bucket of iced water poured on your head.
But seriously. If a blog is a reflection of its writer's personality, then would it make sense to hide more than I show? Would it not be like having multiple personality disorder to segment my blogging into swallowable, more likeable little chunks?
I feel in my bones that self-censorship is the worst kind of censorship there is. And I also think,as I get older, that most people won't like you, which is increasingly fine with me. Although it's tempting to try getting approval from the greatest amount of people, I know that it A- won't work. B-is a small death.
But the more reasonable part of me tells me that 'les paroles disparaissent mais les écrits restent" translating i think in 'words disappear but the written word is forever'. When I'm negative, I mostly don't like me. And once on the blog, I can't trick myself into thinking I'm a fabulously nice person. I can't sweep the crumbs under the rug forever. Already, the rug is three feet off the floor.
Then there is, of course, this detail: The more obnoxious and controversial I am, the more subscriptions to the blog. Insane no? (Cool too.. ahem.) But then am I not becoming part of the problem, with new readers flocking here for the next outrageous thing they can be revved up about? Precisely what is happening to The Media, which takes the sensationalist approach because only sensationalism sells these days. So we are now confused between that is News and what is simply New.
Here is my question: How do you deal with this? Are you taking the option of Split Personality or Dirty Laundry Aired out in Public? Should I then erase my ugly deeds, blog elsewhere or leave it alone?
The pictures are borrowed from the flikr page of O Mundo de Dália. She and I vibrate on the same wavelength in terms of color. She definitely does NOT! have MPD.