Hidden In France

Optimist by choice

I was reading the beautiful words of Clarity on optimism.  Read it here.  I started to comment and then decided to do a wee post on the subject of optimism.  What is optimism, really, and what is it good for?

To me optimism is absolutely a choice.  I was not always an optimist, but I think that's because most of my life or at least from childhood to my late thirties I had to deal with low grade to full blown depression.  Try to work on being optimistic when the sight of wallpaper is enough to send you into something ranging from melancholy to despair.

But Depression with a big D has now left me.  Pfff, just like that; it's left me. Yes I went to therapy quite a bit.  No I'm not on prozac, this is all natural baby.  I wonder, is depression like allergies, like acne, sometimes you can simply grow out of ? I can't  explain why I no longer feel depression, (as opposed to depressed, not the same animal.) I don't feel depression, not even a little bit, not even some of the time.  I will tell you that it's a fairly new thing (10 years or so) and that there is nothing, NOTHING, like waking up in the morning and not feel the dark cloud threatening to swallow you. And I don't believe there is a because to depression, nor is there a need for a because, just like there is not a because to cancer.  When depression hit, you're just of luck.

Oh.. but this was a post about optimism.

Because I do not have depression does not mean I'm not morbidly terrified of it.  Having sample the best  depression has to offer I can tell you I will do everything to make sure the beast is kept at bay. I'm a warrior, never quite letting myself sleep with both eyes closed.

When depression subsided I began to see patterns of negativity in me and others.  I began to see how I really affected my environment with my outlook on things.  I don't think that being angry about an issue or a person is negative (unless it becomes chronic.) I like my anger.  My anger is like a fire that makes me feel alive. I believe that anger can be an excellent thing as long as it's directed outwardly. But I do believe that negativism and optimism are choices, and that those choices have a profound impact on how we feel.  Lately I have even really started to believe that whatever I focused on is what I end up getting in my life.  That's a bit freaky, and I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it because I'm not a hocus pocus kind of girl, but I have come to believe in the power of intentions.  

These days I  I actively work on focusing on positive and optimistic outcomes for fear of negative shit coming into my life. I invented optimition:  it's a clever mix of optimism and superstition.

So what I'm trying to say is:  Depression is not a choice, but negativity is.  As long at we look at things in a negative way, that's what the universe will serve us on a poopy platter.  I don't want to feel depression ever again.  Any time i even remotely feel down, I go raging optimistic.  At first I think I'm just being a nut and who am i kidding.. and soon enough I start to believe and trust.

That's what being an optimist by choice means to me.. If i'm making any sense.

Yum and ahhh...

Two things cooler than ice cream for this scorching day.

I have yet a new crush. His name is Jason Jones.  Check him out. I though he was cool before, but now he makes me weak in the knees.  Just the right combo of humor and arrogance I love in a man. (Plus he can rap.)

Also, did you see Kim's (of Desire to Inspire ) new bedroom:

This is all thrift-store, paint and imagination people!

Deconstructed

This is fascinating work by artist Valerie Hegaty. 

Happy Sunday to you, unless you are, as i am, depressed about the events in Iran and no amount of Summer sunshine and interesting artwork can quite make you forget the injury.

Liberty of London

Rahhhh... got to post this!  Leslie got her hands on an amazing stash of insanely gorgeous Liberty of London fabric and is selling it here.  For all of us fabric junkies, this is a find.

is 3 PM too early for margaritas?

Being a mother during the year is one thing.  Being one when the kids are out of school is another.  It's been a week and I'm begging for mercy.  I know I whined about this before, but have you tried to work from home when the kids are present?  Ha!  

Oh but you want a sample day?

This morning I picked up a little friend of my ten year old at his house.  He lives 20 minutes away but his mother has a crippling illness and cannot drive.  Right as we arrived at the house, their cat was chased, attacked and mauled by a dog in the front yard right before our eyes. Because the mother cannot move I got involved the best I could but was powerless, and powerless to protect the children from seeing this carnage.  It was awful.  The owner of the dog managed to make the dog let go of the poor kitty, but the cat, badly hurt, crawled under the house where we could not dislodge him.

This took half the morning.

I finally brought the kid to our house, but he felt sick, poor little guy.  He wanted to be brought home, which I did.  (another 20 minutes each way.) The instant he got there he started to throw up.  I was relieved it did not happen in my car, but now worried there are flu germs all over my house.  I stopped feeling sorry for myself when I added in my head: 1 sick mother+ 1 near dead kitty+ being sick away from home... Some ten year old have more on their plates than most.

Now my kid is home and pressuring me to go to the movies because "he has no friend to play with and has not even seen Transformer and is BORED'.  But movies are loaded things too.  For example:  don't bring yours to Year One.  That was one seriously filthy movie, and I am no prude.  If you're a mom there is no way to look at the ratings and know what to expect from a movie.  Someone told me about a website that analyzes movies and describes each scene in detail.  I recommend you keep Kids in Mind in your bookmarks.  I'll know for next time. (read this and marvel at the level of obscenity they have managed to cramp into a short hour and forty minutes while maintaining a PG 13 rating (spoiler alert)

So now it's 3PM and I haven't done any writing  (blogging does not count, sorry.)  Should I just reach for the bottle of Tequila and call it a day?

Colors in Buenos Aires

If you're a news addict like I am, sometimes too much is too much.  This was one more day of senseless  violence and deaths. Of course a celebrity's life is no more important than a stranger's life.  But with a celebrity it's hard not to feel a bit of a personal connection.

So here, a little bit of Mexican inspired color.  Color warms the heart, soothes the soul, color is like honey on the tongue.  Color to me sometimes feel like a lifeline.  Hey, i must be getting old: I think I've posted these images before, but today, I need them.

These images via beautiful  Karina/ El Beso

Affair, chmaffair.

As the revelation of Sanford's affair, (by the way, who was he three days ago?) quickly has the media's attention diverted away from bloodshed in Iran and towards the juiciest bone of the day, like the over excited, drooling , short atttention span puppy that it is,  I wonder, as i did years ago when Clinton was dragged in the mud for his affair, why politician's sexcapades should be seen as a public offense. How in world is it our business, and what exactly makes anyone's affair a scandal?

To me, if a politician embezzles, abuse his or her authority, steals, that's a scandal .  But to me, an affair is a personal crisis, a very personal one between the couple and that third person.

I think we have a double standard. On the one hand we gorge ourselves with romantic movies and novels because we are in love with love and we understand the irrepressible power of  lust, and we dream of having our collective heartbeat beat faster, but on the other hand we expect our politicians to be as asexual as Eunuchs.  Politicians are people, and people fall in love, or in lust whatever the case maybe.  If an affair is not damaging to the job they do, then it's not my problem and I have no judgement to make.

Having an affair, a mistress or even paid visits to whatever or whomever does not make one a bad person, it's not necessarily a reflection of someone's character.  See, no one knows what happens behind closed doors in couples.  Marriages have ups and downs.  Marriages are hard. Maybe the sexual feelings or loving feelings have gone away and temptation becomes too hard to resist.  Maybe issues that have nothing to do with the spouse come into play.  Love happens, lust happens.  The French say:  La chair est faible (flesh is weak).  

I'm just saying.

Note to husband:  If you read this, don't get any funny idea or your ass is grass.

******

Update

******

Okay, so this is an hour later and I'm rethinking this.  Maybe the guy was the one with the double standard since he touted the sanctity of marriage, fought hard to deny it to gays, then went off with his Dulcinea rather than spend father's day with his kids.  Maybe he is an asshole after all :-)  What do you think?

Turquoise to the rescue!

You know what would be cool?  I have this excellent idea:  A blog entirely dedicated to the color turquoise.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ALREADY EXISTS?!  Rats...

I've just spent the better part of the last hour on the phone with a person who would not let me go.

No stressing out of deadlines or drapes on fire would deter her.

After 15 minutes I decided to go with the flow, tune her out and look at pretty blogs.  I landed on House of Turquoise and the least I can say is that I was not the best listener.

I was saying Ohhs and ahhs and Wows... but I was mainly thinking of the color turquoise.

I don't like the phone. To me it's a dead experience.  I can't read the person.  I can't feel the layers behind the words.  Maybe it's a language thing?... but no, I have the same problem in French.  When the phone rings I always hope it's not for me.

This post brought to you by the letters B.U.G.O.F.F. and the color Turquoise.

Credits for those images here. 

Matchmaker, matchmaker...

Did I ever tell you about the time I played matchmaker?  

My friend Isabelle had a friend, Katy Allgeyer, who was single.  Katy is a talented woman.  She's a Feng Shui expert who writes the only Feng Shui blog you'll ever need to read: Feng Shui by fish girl, and she is the artist who created the paintings in this post.

So here is my matchmaker story. One day I was at a movie with my husband.  I remember very clearly, the movie was the absolutely heart-wrenching Gloomy Sunday.  We were waiting for the movie to begin when my husband said: 'S. and his wife have split up.' 

I tried to imagine S single. S is the kind of free spirit who collects everything as he travels the world and sends poetic/ cryptic collage postcards from across the globe. 

Within an instant later I knew!  I told my husband: 'He needs to meet Katy!  They would be perfect for each other.'  'Slow down', my husband said.  'he just split up.  The marital bed is still warm.'  'No, no, call him,' I said.  'Call him right away. She's it!'

It took a lot of insisting from us.  Me nagging my husband, my husband nagging poor S. who had no desire to be matched up. Unbelievable enough, the two finally met and you can guess how the story ended:  happily, just the way I like my stories.

The two now share their time between their two (Feng Shui) homes in Maine and North Carolina. Katy repays me by being my sole purveyor of fantastic Old Mill of Guilford grits.  (Those do make me a little bit FAT but if you have not tasted good grits, you haven't lived.)

So who gets the credit for this beautiful match?  Me or good Feng Shui?  I'll never know.

Creepy Lucia

Via Miscellany of me. What a find, girlfriend!  Fabulous and creepy don't even begin to define this. "Lucía is a short video shot frame by frame with a digital photo camera. Materials: charcoal, dirt, flowers, found objects and cardboard. July 12th, 2007 by Diluvio."

Casper James

I needed color, happy and retro to wash down the horrors of the day.  I think those are just perfect.  These are the home and art of artist Casper James. So wonderfully eclectic and FUN.

No turning back

Isn't it mind blowing what is going on, live, before the eyes of the world?  Iraniens are looking pretty heroic at the moment, throwing themselves in front of guns in the name of justice and democracy, ready to die for it. I'm awed and shaken and rooting for them will all my might.

It seemed to me that Khameni and the Ayatollahs still had a chance to remain in control had Moussavi been given a fair shot.  Now that they authorized the murders of peaceful demonstrators, I think the whole system will go down along with Ahmadinejad. 

Can you believe they make it impossible for the wounded to be treated in hospitals. Shame!  Wounded are taking refuge in embassies. It's a mess.

Not all uprisings end in success, as history has shown, and all of them are blood baths. You can follow it minute by minute here: but I warn you. it's as tragic as it is overwhelming.

Beautiful Islam

No one has a crystal ball that can predict what will happen in Iran, but I can tell you that from my perspective, I will never think of Iran in quite the same way.  

So that's what Iran looks like?  So the people there don't all want 'death to America'?  So Al Queda is in fact our common enemy?  So they are young, idealist, brave and desiring of peace and democracy?  So one leader wasn't speaking for an entire people?  I'll be.  

I think that when we start scratching the surface we will find a whole lot more nations are not the propaganda cooked up by their government.  In fact, see how rapidly most of the world has shifted its vision of us since we changed president. 

And see how beautiful Islam is: these are details of mosques around the world i found on google image. (sorry no credit, I was sloppy.  I'll see if I have time to hunt for these image's credit later on.)

Dubai

Tokyo

Somewhere else

The point is: I'm glad I can toss some of my own fears and assumptions into a waste basket.

A cool transformation

This is something really cool (to me). the same apartment I posted about here can be found today on Desire to Inspire (thank you Nadia for being on the lookout for things that will inevitably make me fall off my chair).  

The apartment looks even more amazing (to me) now and it's really inspiring to get a sense of the process that leads from the before to the after, so i guess I'll post both images.  Why I love this interior beside the obvious: girly, pastel and white floors?  It is because of the surprising associations,  the mixing of pastel and peaux de bête for example, especially with white floor feels very new.  So many personal touches, girly touches, but also a framework that shows how nothing in this decor is an accident.  I would love to know who the owner/stylist is. Desire to inspire says it has to be a woman.

Enough blabbering. Here it is:

Here is the living room before:

can you spot the seven differences:  I like the new version above this one much more.

Un petit tour dans la cuisine:

here is the kitchen in December. Less was not more:

This wall made quite an effect on me.  The next day I bought a big of assorted scrapbook paper at Michael's.  This was december, the box has not been open. But the intention was pure!

This above was in december.  Am I the only one who thinks she can recognize the blue velvet couch above, perhaps reupholstered?  AND by the way, this was me obsessing about blue couches. So while I was busy talking, apparently some people took action.  Oh, and to toot my own horn again:  I was into hideous tapestry back then as well.

Look at the daring blue in the bedroom, and again, that trademark patchwork on the walls:

more bedroom:

and finally the picture below, which will prove to My favorite and my Best that it's all about the camera.  And knowing how to use it.. ahem.. and a great stylist... and quite a few dineros:  this room is practically unchanged aside from crucial notes of color.  Never underestimate the power of a bright red butterflies and an armful of leaves.

after:

before:

I forgot to say that you can click on each image to make it bigger.

Riveting

How do you feel about watching History in action?  It gives me goosebumps.  

The recent events also shows a side of Iran we never get to see: young, educated, idealistic, revolutionary. It's a beautiful thing to watch.  

This is the soundtrack of my day:  I don't know what they are saying but I understand the emotion.

 

via the Daily Dish.

sexy interior

I like this house a whole lot, especially this room.

All this white is going to my head.  If I lived there I'd spend my days on my hands and feet making love to this glossy white floor.  

uh-oh.. children live here.  

Oh this was crass....  but is it a sin to lust after interiors?

And exteriors?

I realize my husband has been gone only 4 days and already I'm having impure thoughts.

That is one fine house.  I'm ready to move in today.  I promise to behave.

Sixx Design via Youpi Touch. (merci de toutes ces découvertes fabuleuses Muriel!)

Hate is the the air

Hate is in the air, have you noticed?  Not too surprising. Lately, extremists in the far right are being fed a steady diet of inflammatory lies, with a side order of warmed up prejudice.  Things they did not even need to go bonkers.  

When this happens in muslim countries, we call this brainwashing or propaganda. When it happens in the United States, we call this The News or radio talk shows. We call it freedom of speech.  Well' I think I'm kind of getting over Freedom of Speech.

It seems to me that people who are dangerously unstable to begin with are being let loose, spewing their bile in emails on political website, on the radio or by taking guns to the streets.  

What's going on? Is our country becoming like those horror movies where people are infected by a virus and turning into blood sucking zombies?

Here is something I found interesting today in the daily dish. On Fox News, of all places.

I'm on Flikr

I'm not sure I've mentioned it before but in an effort to not miss out on all the good (and some awful )things on the web, I've been tweeting on twitter and flickering on Flikr. 

Do you?  Have I not found you yet?  I'm also on facebook but i hate it with a passion.  I hate the mix of mundane and personal.  I hate the fact that people can facebook-stalk me, as my son puts it.  I hate that some people in my entourage feel free to post pictures of me that have not been pre-approved by my staff, such as snapshot of me bloated, disheveled, inebriated and with eyes as red as those of an albino bunny.

In fact, this week is the week I will definitely close shop on my personal facebook account.

On a more positive note: here are some pictures uploaded by some talented Flikr members today.

Artist Paula Mills:

Boopsie Daisy's kitchen:

Eclectic Gypsyland:

Girl Hula:

decorating my NYC flat

Wow, that title sounded very good.  Of course the reality is not as glamorous, but if I was in the mood for reality I'd be watching CNN at the moment.  I've said it again, happiness is the enemy of the blog.  My blog is so much more interesting when I have something to vent about. I was realizing this as i bask in my joy of our impending summer in New York.   

My husband is in New York already  until school end and we're able to meet him there.  The apartment he found for us could not be in a better location, very close to NYU where the kids will be having their summer camps. I understand it's smallish and decorated in a very corporate way.  But what do i care, it's in MANHATTAN!  IN NEW YORK CITY.  I would live in a rat hole for the privilege of walking to the Village and the Hudson river.

Oh but wait.. here are the pictures he sent me:

Ahem...

Yeah, right, blahhrh

Booooooh-ring.

Okay, the kitchen is cool.  Better than mine.  But have these people ever heard of aquamarine, lime, fushia and teal?  have they even heard words such as LACE and FROU FROU?

Not hideous, that apartment, but sadly lacking in the pezzaz (spelling?) department.

So here is my idea: spend a few bucks at Pearl River in Soho.  Here is my selection.

The lanterns are $45 each but I was going to buy them anyway. I already own one and it's one of my most prized possessions.

The kites are large and great to hide white walls and are about $15 each. They're not as gorgeous as the one from Petit Pan but they will do.

Extra seating and extra touches of color for under $20 each.

These, of course, because there is a je ne sais quoi that is particularly hideous about them. $2.50 each, come on, how could i resist.

Useless, but cheap at $5 each.

The tea tin cans cost 2.50 each and if you ask me they're alone are worth the trip to New York so that I can complet my collection.  They'd be great to color the kitchen a bit.  They are, incidentally, filled with delicious tea.

Some one will be drinking a lot of tea. 

$31 and great colors.

For the bedrooms:

Egad!  A lotus lamp! ...but I want it.  $6.00

...and the bed spread to go with the lamp.

Oh and what the heck. Something that cost under $5 and can extend to 75 inches?  how could i say no.

and a few more lanterns that cost $10 each.

Okay, I'm done for now.  I spent about 300 virtual dollars, the cost of a single pillow case at some nyc stores. If you have ideas of other places to go to for cheap deco stuff, please tell me.

Gustavo Aimar

Two posts in a day?  Are you kidding?  I'm worried it might give me meningitis or something.  Pam Garrison (in the post about paper mache from a few minutes ago) says she was inspired by artist and illustrator Gustavo Aimar.  I checked him out and omygod:

How darling is this? 

First there is Gustavo Aima's flickr pages where I borrowed those images.  Then there is his home blog, which shows how he works and his life in general and made me want to be adopted by him and his family. (I used to want to be adopted by Brad and Angelina, but then realized it would be wrong because I was actually physically attracted to Angelina.)  and then there is the main blog, unfortunately in portugese. I think you can buy some of his original pieces here, and he has also published many books.

Papier Mâché

Or what you Américans call paper mache.  I love paper mache so much, everything about it.  It's wonderful to make something hard out of something soft, something beautiful out of trash.  Something three dimentional out of a thought. In my next life time, the one where I actually make things instead of dream about them, I'll definitely make things out of paper mache.

Those were created by Pam Garrison.  So simple and adorable.  I want to get together with my girlfriends and plan summer days around making unpretentious beauties like this.  

Pam Garrison's etsy shop is here.

Drunk on Rice

DRUNK in color, compliment of rice.

Design & Inredningsbloggen posted the winning images for this week as far as I am concerned.  Not speaking the language... not even able to decipher what language it is... I can't tell you the story behind those images, except that they have something to do with Rice Denmark.

I love the sentence on Rice's website: "In these days of Obama and optimism, we say yes to everything..."  Yeah!  I'm feeling VERY optimistic about this world.  I truly am. 

Have a great week-end.  I'm shipping my man off to NYC.  He'll be there for most of the summer. So we're celebrating father's day early and with a bit of a heavy heart.

Painted roses

Once in a while i discover a painter that makes me dizzy with the urge to buy paintbrushes and blank canvases.  Now of course I could never do what Parastoo Ganjei does, not even close, but I've always had the dream of being able to paint flowers.  Not birds, not people, just flowers.

In the mean time I would not mind owning a wall full of her work.  She's quite prolific and her work is completely affordable and available on her website.  

She tries to paint several times a week, but I like that her painting are not postage stamp size like so many 'painting a day'.

I found Parastoo Ganjei (don't you love that name) via Gretchen Kelly, another glorious artist I told you all about here.

Now I'm off to visit your blogs for the first time in a while.  Let see how prolific you guys have been...

Photogenic

Have you seen those? Never before published pictures of Marilyn Monroe that are exquisite, just like her. You can find them all on Life.com with the story behind them.

Nostalgia hit me hard when I saw those this morning.  Not just nostalgia about Marilyn but about a entire way of being, a time I didn't know but seemed so delicious, the innocence and enthusiasm of an entire country.  Sigh...

Release...

Well, i was waiting, and waiting and the news came and I let go of everything, my tension, my menstrual flow.. blahhrhflllf.. everything drained out until there was little left of me but an anemic shell powered by a raging migraine... I swear to you, yesterday I was gray, my tongue was yellow and I had about as much vitality as an empty moth cocoon.

But I'm back on track, baby I AM BACK nothing a dozen big juicy iron-filled steaks could not fix.  

Kinda, sorta.  Now I'm a bit overwhelmed by all I'm supposed to do.  I'm on a hunt for:

A two bedroom apartment in soho/tribecca/chelsea from now through September. (I won't stay the whole time but my husband will.)

Someone lovely and trustworthy to stay in my house --30 minutes from Malibu, up in the hills of what we call here THE valley (birth place of the valley girl accent)-- for six weeks for free in exchange for taking care of one dog, one cat, one bird and eight goldfish.  (Hmmm... I'm not sure this is such a wonderful deal but the only thing I can vouch for is the pretty garden, the pool and guaranteed sunshine. ) Also: pictures of my house can be found here in case one of you knows someone who knows someone.

Two passports (oops, they expired) asap in case we might want to take a little look-see in Paris while we're so close. But shhh...

Addresses of wonderful things to do in New York in July.  (but don't worry I've been collecting all your posts on the subject just in case.)

No need to worry about the kids.  They will be safely in camp.  YES IN CAMP!!!!!!!!  I don't mean to use exclamation points in vain, but this.. This calls for a whole row of them.  I really mean this:  for three weeks, while my husband works and my kids are in camp I will have from 10 to 4 in New York City BY MYSELF... to roam, and explore and just basically inhale the awesomeness and the atmosphere of my very favorite city in America.  It's an honest o goodness dream come true. I've never had freedom of movement in NY in the past. It was always with strollers and done around the kid's interests.. but not this time!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes.  Yellow tongue or not, I'm thrilled!  Can you tell?