Today I treated myself to a day of self indulgence and spent $865 on just me. I know, you're jealous. And you should see the transformation: when I look in the mirror, open my mouth wide and tilt my head all the way back I see... absolutely nothing. Yep, that's right. $865 on three fillings that make my teeth look exactly the same.
Still jealous?
The only thing left to do when you can't even feel your nose was to go on a shopping spree... at Trader Joe's to load up on groceries for the week.
But you know sometimes little things can make you feel so much better. In the parking lot I was loading my bags into the truck of my car and a glass jar of salsa slipped off my groggy fingers and fell, ker-plump onto the pavement, and of course broke into a million sad pieces.
Being a good citizen I did not just drive away. I walked into the store and told the manager. He asked me what it was that broke. "Hunky fafa," I said. "I beg your pardon?" he said. "I hag wok done on my teef, i'm sowwy." "Oh, you mean chunky salsa?" "Yef."
He turned on his feet and went deep into the store, and I walked miserably to my car. Seconds later he had caught up with me and was handing me a new jar of hunky falfa. I said, "no, no.. it waf my faut, i dwopped it". " You can have it, he told me, but only if you say chunky salsa three times fast."
Silly, but after the indignities of sitting two hours in a dentist chair and spending such ridiculous, hard earned money on cavities, I was suddenly immensely grateful for Trader Joe's good management, human kindness and a replaced jar of salsa.
I drove off with a smile on half of my face.
hewoow, cowin.
oh i can't do that writing...it looks like i just called you 'cow.' just snorted w/laughter (in a good way). had to look before logging off when i saw you posted..
i can only get to TJ's (without buses/Metro & ensuing melting issues) if someone's going that way. i make my own hunky fafa but will make sure that TJ story gets 'round to one of my sisters. she should be a publicist for them. this will make her day. so damn funny. & yes I know exactly what you mean about day of beauty & no one else can tell...precisely.
hey, i just saw that i brighten you day...you're so nice to say so. i'm off my game, for sure. a few more days & things might look up. meanwhile, another nice thing.
xo svs
Posted by: Susan | April 28, 2009 at 05:26 PM
just love it when you talk "dental"!
Posted by: susan | April 28, 2009 at 06:06 PM
That's so sweet of the manager...you write good! I had to laugh reading your post.
Posted by: Trishie Koh | April 28, 2009 at 06:17 PM
I really hate when people type LOL....but I really did.
Posted by: shelly beson | April 28, 2009 at 06:58 PM
Fabulously funny and uplifting post! I am so sorry that you had what sounds like a pretty crappy day, and am humbled as well as inspired by how you have managed to find humor and goodness in it. Bravo! ... Or should I say "Bahhvo!" with a little drool trickling down my chin for good measure. :0)
Posted by: Victoria | April 28, 2009 at 07:47 PM
sorry about the fillings, ouch!! that was really nice of them to give you another jar, of course i would have done the same thing but only if you had said hunky falfa three times fast.
i really needed the laugh today, thank you.
Posted by: Jaymee | April 28, 2009 at 08:43 PM
I am smiling too, xv.
Posted by: Vicki Archer | April 28, 2009 at 11:24 PM
extra le gars ! merci pour le ce rire de bon matin !!
Posted by: TheYoupiTouch | April 29, 2009 at 12:03 AM
Delurking to say that I really enjoy your posts, and that you made me laugh today. I miss TJ! and hunky falfa!
Posted by: Beatriz | April 29, 2009 at 12:34 AM
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse... they got a whole lot better!
Posted by: Freshly Found | April 29, 2009 at 12:36 AM
Oh I like this kind of stories! Though of course not the part of paying so much money on something that's no fun at all. I always feel a bit indignant when I have to pay so much money on something that I don't even like, though I know money isn't just there for the fun stuff...
Posted by: ninainvorm | April 29, 2009 at 02:54 AM
oH WAT AS GWEAT! (i KNOW ALL ABOUT DENTISTS!)
Posted by: Irene | April 29, 2009 at 04:25 AM
I'm going to the dentist today too and just posted about it. At the age of 46 I'm getting a retainer to stop me eroding my bottom teeth all together. I'm a CLENCHER. I would consider myself lucky to get away with paying just $865.
Posted by: Hazel | April 29, 2009 at 05:17 AM
Great story! Thank you for the morning giggle.
xoxo
Posted by: AGirlNamedMe | April 29, 2009 at 07:23 AM
Where would we be without Tarder Joe's? I hope it didn't splash on your shoes....really great post...
Posted by: Isabelle | April 29, 2009 at 08:44 AM
great story! enjoy your hunky fafa!
Posted by: josephine | April 29, 2009 at 10:04 AM
$865 and no difference. Poor you!!! For $900 I got Botox and Keratin treatment.
With all that dental work you would think you would have gone for the non-chunky salsa.
Hope you have a happy mouth and it appreciates all the cash you spent on it.:-)xoxo
Posted by: La Belette Rouge | April 29, 2009 at 02:43 PM
i needed you to say that!!! thank you!!!!
i locked myself out of my house wearing barely anything trying to let one of my dogs out, how i could walk to the neigbors dressed like i was...i was locked out from 10 am to 2 pm after the second, yes second locksmith good finaly do the job- mean while i had not gotten to my lawyers which he had booked a private conference room-nor did i have his cell $$$$$ but if you thought that was bad then i proceeded to go to my dentist for the third visit this week and this one was a doozy since i don't use novacaine and being more sensitive and upset than usually It killed like hell!!!!
i wish i could have meant your guy at trader joes-hell i wish i could have went to trader joes(which was on the list)but instead i came home and watched a few numerous episodes of the tudors (king henry the eight) a shovenist pig!!!! ah nothing like a wednesday!
Posted by: nadia | April 29, 2009 at 03:27 PM
funny AND sweet. It doesn't get better than that.
Posted by: Danette | April 29, 2009 at 04:01 PM
FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Elizabeth | April 29, 2009 at 04:33 PM
so sweet and true :)
keep well c
Posted by: Absolutely Fabulous | April 29, 2009 at 08:42 PM
so far my favorite post of the day. well written story. i can relate in such a huge way.
thanks corrine.
xoj
Posted by: my favorite and my best | April 30, 2009 at 05:34 AM
Visiting the dentist and getting my car serviced are two of my most un-favourite chores, but a close third is applying lipstick over half of my face after a dental appointment.
Your post was a cracker!
Posted by: Natalie | April 30, 2009 at 06:29 AM
Oh that was very sweet. I hope you feel better after the dental treatment. Avoid the "hunky fafa" for a few days, x
Posted by: Clarity | April 30, 2009 at 10:55 AM
"hunky fafa" oh this brightened my day....sorry you had horrible dental work and I hope your feeling better but, thanks for making me belly laugh, I love it!! I'm sure you'll never look at salsa the same again
Posted by: debra | May 01, 2009 at 12:42 PM
i love hunky fafa !! :)
Posted by: Sarthak | May 05, 2009 at 11:32 AM
That must piss you right off having to pay that for 3 fillings. In the UK it's free if you can find an NHS dentist, which are as rare as hen's teeth - forgive the pun :)
Posted by: Di Overton | May 06, 2009 at 12:14 AM
i loved reading this story
you are so funny-
at first i thought wow- $865 things must be good at the corrine house.
got a chuckle out of the
hunky fafa
Posted by: Dayna | May 13, 2009 at 07:23 PM