Don't hate me 'cause i'm popular

There was a very thought-provoking post in the blog So Lovely called 'Rethinking the Whole Blogging Thing-- Are you Cyber cool enough?"  (also read the comment section to see the responses)

Hmm. That got me thinking...Is blogging a popularity contest? If yes is it a bad thing?

Well, let me insert luscious images from Eclectic Gypsyland's flickr page, which i can't get enough of, I'm drunk with it, and let's tackle that issue shall we?

Blogging can get a tad nasty, discouraging at first. There is the issue of courting, I guess I'll call it that. When you fall head over heal in love with a blog, but the love is not reciprocated. You pour your soul in a lengthy comment but are neither visited nor acknowledged. You write a loving post about another blog, praising their utter magnificence and professing your undying love, and the blogger just can't be bothered. Maybe it is because, as Irene of Happy Turtle so eloquently put it "There are people who are polite and courteous and send an e-mail or post a link, and there are people who are little monsters of pride and self-value. " (he, he, love that!) 

You know how rejection works, suddenly you're back in high-shool: Your clothes are all wrong and your hair is-like-totally retarded.

Well maybe it's true, blogging can become about popularity, so you have to thread lightly, know yourself. Is your heart easily broken? Then beware. You better acquire a certain philosophy about the whole process. There will be rejection, there will be neglect, and those who get bored with you will move on (and yes, let's admit it, maybe you'll be the one who gets bored and moved on cause ya'll can be a fickle bunch.)

What is important I think is that in the end you touch and attract exactly the people you want and need in your life (minus the occasional Troll. Hopefully that troll is not a personal friend because then aïe caramba.)  

I think you attract the people whose heart sings along with yours, and i cannot explain it with any other words. 

Now how many of those soul-matches one needs varies with individuals. How many will it take before we feel understood, appreciated, listened to? How many before we feel less lonely? I personally needed just one to be won over by the world of blogging. I thought, "What?? Are you serious!? There are real-live-talking-breathing people out there reading my prose!?" There was no turning back.

Also blogging is where you get to be Free At Last. This is where you get to risk being entirely yourself, a.k.a not trying to be everything to everyone, not trying to be popular. Let the bomb drop and just see what happens. There is nothing more liberating. Because I often wondered, what is the point of being liked by those I don't so much like myself? In real life we have to make efforts not to alienate, but here? Oh it's a cinch to lose readers, but I say good riddance. I lost readers when I became rabidly political, and then suddenly there was this peculiar jump in readership. My people had somehow managed to find me.

Needless to say I felt giddy when that happened.

So is blogging about popularity? I think yes. I sure like my little sliver of cyber-popularity. In real life I am annoying many I'm sure, being opinionated, being so irritatingly RIGHT all the time. The problem is they can't run away. Whereas you can!

Comments

[Charlie]

Oh I love it, I love it...
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and link. Like minds do find each other in the blogging world. I seem to "lose" readers when I am honest but then I also find gems like you. I like healthy discussions and observations and not afraid of them.
I have to admit I have had a huge clean out of my "blog roll" - everything was becoming very beige.
xC

[anrosh]

And you just say it ... plainly and directly ..Right and wrong ...like the river that flows so smoothly.
Even before I started posting comments on your blog I read silently for a long long time.

[shilvia]

wow!!! you've nailed this topic right on :) i believe, in time you get the circle that will appreciate you as much as you appreciate them... and as frustrating as the contest can be, in the end (as should happens in reality too) just be!!!there's enough varieties of feathers for all the different kind of birds to flock together :)
ps: this is why i adore your blog, honest to goodness!!!your choice of topics are always interesting and true :)

[karina]

Corine, I am too tired for an intelligent comment but I love blogging, it had a very positive impact in my life and I came here very often,I love your blog and you are just adorable.
In a very Buenos Aires slang I would say- Yo te banco (I am here for you, you count with my support)

[Angelina]

Tricky!
Anyway, you've pinned me down with your blog and I am a real addict of Hidden in France.

[shill]

wonderful thoughts corine!!! for me personally, its a place where i can getaway actually, so i stick to those i love (you're included) and blog about anything i please without a care :)

[muralimanohar]

"I think you attract the people whose heart sings along with yours, and i cannot explain it with any other words."

I don't think you need any other words.

My blogging started out as my decision to celebrate the beauty I loved, and my beloved creations, without any expectation of reciprocation..I had no one around me who shared my loves, and I was tired of hiding it away in a little folder on my harddrive, so I threw it out into the world. It was a HUGE side effect that it brought others into my world!

And because it is MY world, I post whatever I feel like posting, and people can come or go as they please. It's MY world, and they can like it or lump it. (Obviously, I am hoping for more of the former than the latter. :p )

[pia]

man you always NAIL IT! Boy do I love your posts.

But you got me thinking, there was one time you wrote me a beautiful email about a comment I wrote once on your blog and you know what, I realise I NEVER replied! I have never forgiven myself for it. But I have to tell you, I did actually write a reply and put it in my drafts folder because I wanted to write more and take my time. Well, time I did take, beacause it's still in that draft folder! What a cow! What an ungrateful blogger you must think I am! I'm convinced now that I am on your unpopular list (but then I bet you don't even remember what email I am talking about). Back to the contents of your post here...

Yes i too have realised blogging is a popularity contest goddamnit. Why is the world so? But just like high school, i have found myself in the same circle... way back in the day when i still had natural blonde hair and my freckles were my ownly blemishes (sweet image, non?), I unknowingly formed the non-group - the group that was friends with members of all the groups no matter whether they were 'too cool for school' or 'geeks galore'. There was no discrimination in my group, it was sort of like the group that people were free to come and go from, and it was nestled under a beautiful tree that for some reason, no group had yet claimed. This non-group was neither popular or unpopular. But somehow it grew to be the biggest group, with whole groups ditching 'their old ways' and joining in. And then I'm pretty convinced that we became the coolest of all the groups.

The End.

PS wow, that was such a long comment, it was almost a post! Sorry to graffiti all over your blog. again. xx

[susanbuchanan]

first off thank you for the private email. it meant alot to me. life is not easy. (i am not being flip here)
second of all i guess i blog for the same reason i might keep a journal...but i dont!

[Cat]

LUV those images and that PINK ROOM! Looks like distemper paint which gives you that chalky affect! AND LOVE THIS POST. I think many bloggers are trying to win a popularity contest. And we will forever seek approval one way or another and I am certain it stems from whatever we did not get when we were young. Therefore, we always have to dig deep for the REAL reasons we react to and do certain things and not let needs and desires that can never be met now (because they should have been met way back when) run our emotions and lives. Much easier said then done. And isn't the whole point of blogging to say what you want?
I go thru stages where I check my favorite blogs and then I get tired of the whole thing but NEVER yours. Yours is always first on my list. You sure sing my song.
Catherine

[stephanie]

It is a funny little world we live in here...I am in a busy cycle in the real world that has seriously cut into my cyber life. I do love how after a few years of this we indeed attract those liked minded souls and may have outgrown others...

I'm still here, enjoying your vision! Just sayin'

[runway girl]

really.
who wouldn't want a ton of comments? It's fun to be popular.
RG

[nadia]

yes i believe it is, sometimes i think people do a background check on your profile, then decide your in or your out. I must agree with pia- i belonged to that group and we turned out to be the coolest nananana!!

okay all kinding a side of course, but it is human.
but fortunately i extra terrestial!!

but you and you and you and even them are welcome to my click:)

[Liberty Post Editor]

I hate you. (because you get all the comments. plus you're the popular girl. that's a fact) xo

[Liberty Post Editor]

I shouldn't have to explain my last comment..but heck...I just want everyone to know that I was kidding...in case you decided I should come off 'the popularity list'. gee.

[Liberty Post Editor]

I just noticed that I am 'stalkingcommenting' here...but I just realized that I actually censored myself and I am against that, so I take back comment #2 and will stand by my #1 comment of 'I hate you'. With Love, Liberty Post Editor.

[corine]

(singing) I've, ! got, ! a, stal-ker ! Now that's popularity.

[karey m.]

you've not only got a stalker...you've got a majorly cool stalker! love me that liberty post...

life has started to get in the way of my imaginary one, and sometimes i'm not as present in my online one as i'd love to be {you know i love looking at pretty things and reading about mr. obama!}...but i always come to catch up on you.

that won't change even if your hair looks stupid some days. {i don't know what that means.}

and your post below? i get sharp pains every time i think of something happening to the man who is supposed to save the world.

xoxo.

[shilvia]

dear, i hope you dont mind that i've mentioned you in my blog :)

[Gretchen]

HI Corine,
Your blog is my fave of all decor blogs and when I don't have time to look at all of them I choose yours alone. As a designer + Artist - I crave your aesthetic and add your "clippings" to my files all the time. Along the way I have gotten to know you through your writing and imagine that we could be friends if our worlds intersected in the physical plane. Thanks for your posting and popularity contest-- don't know but truly believe that like attracts like and that is how I found you.
GK

[vana]

This is my first time on your blog. This post really spoke to me, as I have been thinking about this for quite some time now...and even wanted to blog about it...I used to be one of those people who checked other blogs just so that i could leave a comment to have them come to my blog...I am not anymore! I think like in any other stage in life, there is the knowing period in the blogging words too...the testing your waters thing. I now have a couple of blogs i visit on daily basis and am happy to do that because it is what i need to get my daily dose:) haha...and still be cool.
Thanks for this post, really honest and i can relate...

[Marnie]

right on post - v good - look at yarnstorm blog - oct 27 - she turned off her comments for awhile and then wrote about why and ask other bloggers to comment on comments. interesting reading - but it all gets back to - what is important to the person who is blogging and why we each do it - i say do it for yourself and be yourself - and as you say you will attract the people that like your creativity and what you have to say...

[Elizabeth Mackey]

Well, put Corine. I hope this makes people think about what blogging really means to them.

[bonbon oiseau]

nicely said lovey...I hope i haven;'t neglected you!!! i love you and thought provoking posts!

[Becky]

I think this is something that all bloggers who want to see their blog grow struggle with. I think "To thine one self be true" definitely applies here. I try to blog about the things that inspire me and have to do with my real life. But I also find myself censoring my negative moments, not because I'm afraid of scaring off readers, but because that isn't the way I want to spend my own energy, you know? Thanks for the thought provoking post.

[Karen Olivia]

Corine,

Beautiful photos and what a great great article! It's so well written and I'm positive that it is a subject that echoes on many of our minds as bloggers. Where some doors close, others will open.

Cheers,

Karen Olivia

[Marie]

thanks, it's very nice, "beau et charmant".
I like your blog, lovely ! "Bravo"
Marie

[My castle in Spain]

Wow...when you're talking you're talking ! that's what i like with you..
funnily enough, i read now and there afterthoughts about blogging : are some blogs too nice ? are some blogs too alike ? are some comments too sweet ?
and today, you raise "la question" ..is it a popularity contest ? obviously yes. No need to deny, we (i mean you, you and me) like to see how many comments were left on such post etc..Is it a good thing? mmmm...am not too sure! The day my boyfriend told me: stop blogging and let's go for a drink!, i knew i was getting too addicted.
About feeling like in highschool : indeed, i have this feeling sometimes and like in real life, it is something inevitable : clans are formed, you belong to it or you don't. It can be pleasant and unpleasant. It hurts your ego at times, but we have to accept we cannot please everybody or deemed not interesting enough.
I often wonder if i would still blog if the comments were off. Would you ?

sorry for the long comment but...eh it adds to your popularity ! :-)

[alis]

Well, I agree with you. It feels so nice to get a reply from a person whose blog I admire, someone who is in a different part of the world but took the time to communicate with me. That being said, I usually suck at replying. Not that I don't care, it's because I am the worst procrastinator in the world.

[Freshly Found]

Thanks for the link to Eclectic Gipsyland. I am hooked on her beautiful crocheting skills and amazing talent for colour combinations!

[Tracy@MadisonsManor.com]

So well said...I started a blog back, I think in May, only two post, and I felt so blog-tarded that I stopped. I had so many things to share and say is why I wanted to play with the blog kids. I read so many fabulous blogs daily, that I feel now I can't possibly live up to others. But your right, say what we feel, and know that the people who read our blogs and come back are our kindred friends. I notice too the popular kids don't want to post anything controversial. You have inspired me to start again. Thanks, Tracy

[robin bird]

well i don't even know how to respond ...you speak so plainly and honestly about my own angst. blogging is a popularity contest and it is so difficult for me to resist that one more opportunity to re-do those awful high-school years of being a toad. i have never visited you here before but i may just have to place you on my "popular people to visit" list :)
bravo!