Hello friends of Felicity and of now vanished All things bright and Beautiful. This update just to let you know that Felicity left a comment on this post telling us a little bit about herself, her thoughts and why she made the drastic decision to delete her famous blog. What follows is my original post. More words from Felicity and those who adore her on this post.
And where is Felicity? Why has All Things Bright and Beautiful been deleted?
I know I should respect her decision to just end things like that...
But I wont.
Felicity who has poured so much enthusiasm and love into her blog for the last year and a half has deleted her blog and is no longer commenting. She is not responding to e-mails either. She might well have been one of my first readers, and I one of hers. The fact that her blog has vanished is a shock to me. I had a connection with her. I counted on her comments, and I counted on her blog.(and man where ARE those blogging tips!!)
Judging from your comments and e-mails, I'm not the only one who feels a bit abandoned.
I am convinced she is okay, at least physically. People don't die but first say, "Please god give me five more minutes so that I can delete my blog."
Her choice then, raises questions about the nature of blogging, its joys, its pitfalls, its absurdity.
To some of us, blogging is much more than a media platform; it has a real social meaning. Even for those of us who started blogging to promote ourselves, it is hard to resist the attraction of true human connection. We matter suddenly, and to a lot of people. Or we can trick ourselves into thinking that we do.
Blogging can become a popularity contest, a sport, and addiction. I already know it's a Procrastinator's favorite, right up there for me with twiddling thumbs and going brain-dead on Youtube. Could her reason for stopping have anything to do with this? If yes, maybe this is Felicty's last blogging tip: Stop wasting your time!... these are not real relationships, this is not being creative, this is not useful or meaningful. This is like crack cocaine and you are HOOKED.
So many questions remain. What causes a successful, much read and much admired blogger to call it quit overnight without an explanation? Without goodbye?
This happens all the time, actually. I had a blog for six months that I ended up deleting because it was an angry blog where I did nothing but vent. After a while i got nauseated with myself and deleted it. It did not reflect who I was, only the not so jolly time I was going through.
But in the case of All Things Bright and Beautiful, there was nothing but goodness to declare, nothing to be ashamed of, no dark corners, no monsters. Her blog was a small jewel of beauty, information and generosity. Even if she decided to stop blogging, I still can't understand the deletion. To me it would be like writing a novel and tossing its only copy into the shredder: a formidable negation of one's creativity.
Could burnout be the cause? Is creating unique and original contents and interview (without accepting publicity) too heavy of a load? Is she too much of a perfectionist? Felicity put tremendous time and care into her blog. And believe me those original interviews are nothing like the regurgitated material you will find on this some blog. Personally, I just rip off other bloggers.. but I always, ALWAYS give them credit: something I learned in ATBB blogging tips: rule number one: Don't be a douche bag.
Some blogs are too personal, and we wake up one morning with in our mouth the terrible taste of gossip, and on our blog confessions that cannot be unconfessed. Then we have to hit DELETE!!!!
But ATBB had no gossip, I'm not sure she was capable of it. And Felicity was very hesitant to speak about herself.
Oh but wait.. here is a bone to chew on: I did ONE original interview, and it happened to be with her. You can find it
here.
I chose those pictures from Vogue Korea (found via
Blog 9) because they remind me of something she once posted.
So Felicity, is this really good bye? If it is, I will miss you very much.
Photos courtesy of photographer Kim Jung Han in
Vogue Korea of March 06.
Corine, I have been asking those questions- formulated a story ion my head of what could have happened- but then i think there is something so liberationg about it- that i understand it!
Posted by: nadia | September 22, 2008 at 12:43 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_places_referred_to_as_the_Center_of_the_Universe
comment on CHINA:
government that resides in the area of "Middle Country" or "Center of the World" separately from them. (depending on how you choose to translate the word "Zhong-Guo").
an attempt to solve the puzzle of felicity's place of birth...i'm guessing China.
Posted by: virginia | September 22, 2008 at 01:40 PM
Nadia: what liberating???? don't you do this to me too...
Virginia: Aha-- good guess. But she once posted pictures of her sister's wedding in switzerland. The sister was caucasian and beautiful. I have to deduce Felicity is also caucasian and beautiful. I think the center of the Universe was Australia.
Posted by: corine | September 22, 2008 at 01:46 PM
I don't know where Felicity might be, and will really miss ATBB as well. (I also often wonder what became of Another Shade of Grey, which used to be updated daily with really beautiful art and handmade goods and then just came to a screetching halt in February.)
But I certainly understand the impulse to hit "delete" when you pour your heart and soul into something for months or years with no tangible results.
I mean, there are tangible results in terms of connections with readers and other bloggers -- but sometimes those don't feel very real when you're sitting alone in your house and feel chained to the computer. Or sometimes you feel like you're just shouting into the void and no one is listening, and there is a temptation to give up or simply to move on and eradicate the evidence of something that didn't quite work out the way you'd hoped it would.
Or maybe there was simply a technical glitch, but Felicity is off lying on a beach somewhere and hasn't gotten around to fixing it?
Posted by: Anonymous | September 22, 2008 at 02:10 PM
You said it all for me. :( I never realized I would feel this...hurt...and worried...if a blogger I read would just disappear like that. :wah:
Nadia, don't you DARE disappear on us!!!!!
Posted by: muralimanohar | September 22, 2008 at 03:02 PM
yeah, it feels like a friend has stopped talking to you, now crossing the street to the other side and you haven't any idea what went wrong. was it something i said, something that i did?
Posted by: susan buchanan | September 22, 2008 at 03:05 PM
Ditto, ditto...where is Felicity and ATBB?? I miss her and her blog....
Posted by: Beata | September 22, 2008 at 03:14 PM
Dear Corine, thanks for this post, I miss her too, and I thought in her very much.
I do not care where was her birth place, she did a wonderful blog I learnt a lot from them and she did it seriously, and I miss it.
And I think that she deleted it because something was wrong.
Posted by: karina | September 22, 2008 at 04:28 PM
yes, i think something is/was wrong...
as for where she was from originally, i had also considered new zealand(remote, but the new center of the film universe)..."center of the universe" is the clue, as well as "in the countryside, by the sea". where she is from could hold the answer...
when something shocking happens, everyday life becomes surreal, and the new reality can make past habits seem trivial and insignificant...
Posted by: virginia | September 22, 2008 at 06:02 PM
I also having a blogging buddy who has just stopped. She did not delete her blog, and I keep hoping she will come back again!http://fourwallsdesign.blogspot.com/.
But I do miss her!
Posted by: Freshly Found | September 22, 2008 at 10:58 PM
It's a mystery that I have been pondering ever since i couldn't log onto her blog. But I held off on thinking negatively. Until now. I asked my computer expert (aka French Boy) if he thought of a technical explanation (I immediately thought of sabotage of some sort) and he said no, it can only have been wiped by her or someone who knows her passwords for both her email and blog. But then I thought if that has happened, she would have let us know by now, by commenting here.
What on earth could it be? I mean, does anyone remember her very last post? Was there a hint?
Worry. A deep sadness. Confusion. and loss. That's what I feel.
And Nadia, don't you even think about it. At least, let us get over Felicity's absence first. And I don't know how long that will take. Years, I imagine.
Posted by: pia | September 23, 2008 at 01:18 AM
I have spent the last few days looking and now I find your blog and the comments, so it its not something I am doing wrong. The last post was on September 17th and it was the gorgeous pictures of the geishas. I am so sad and feel sort of sick to my belly. I may not comment but when you guys see Finland on your tracking it's me. I love your blogs and all beacuse Felicity introduced me to the world of blogging. My 1st post was dedicated to her as well as my 100th. I am so terribly sad.
Charlie
Posted by: Charlie | September 23, 2008 at 01:28 AM
I am sorry she stopped posting, but I believe it is her right to do so, just because. Even "perfect" people have the right to be fed up/have other priorities/don't like what she did/whatever.
Posted by: Irene | September 23, 2008 at 02:41 AM
So good to read this post Corine! I hope Felicity read it too. Surely she must know we all miss her. Yeah, perhaps she's in Australia..perhaps she got tired of all the thing. I had her on my mind last week end and simply can't understand nor accept that she deleted her amazing and very unique blog. She surely must have been so sad to do it.
I pondered so much about it and felt incredibly sad and annoyed by it.
I do hope she reads all these comments and comes back !!!
Posted by: My Castle in Spain | September 23, 2008 at 02:44 AM
Felicity has small children including tiny twins. This is a full time job on its own. Maybe she was just tired.
It was a truly inventive and informative blog and it's such a shame that it is no longer accessible. I would have preferred if she had just stopped and not deleted it.
I have to say though that at the moment the way things are in the world I sometimes feel a bit flippant doing posts on beautiful things. So much so that this morning I did a post about how we should stand up and be counted. Maybe this is something that's spreading through the blogging world like a virus.
Posted by: Di Overton | September 23, 2008 at 05:22 AM
hmm...i might agree with nadia...sometimes the blog becomes too much on us--i loved that blog as well...sad but maybe she;ll be back in a new incarnation?!
i do love your accompanying vogue shoot though...
Posted by: Bonbon Oiseau | September 23, 2008 at 06:07 AM
as you do, I'm looking everyday to see if she returned and as you are I'm perplexed ... I just hope she is fine.
Posted by: miss sunrise | September 23, 2008 at 06:59 AM
Stop wasting my time!... this is not real relationship, this is not being creative, this is not useful or meaningful. This is like crack cocaine and you got me HOOKED. Good Bye.
Posted by: Liberty Post Editor | September 23, 2008 at 03:33 PM
O.K. Now I'll be serious. (clearing throat) I wish she would come back to us. Tear.
Posted by: Liberty Post Editor | September 23, 2008 at 03:34 PM
I dont know why you feel its not real or creative. Yeah, maybe its a bit addictive. There have been many times where I just sit and trawl through these blogs but they make me feel connected in some small way.
Your blog, I read often. I have found much inspiration, through your stories and images. I have some of these images stored in my computer and use them as references to design my daughters room, or a colour you have found that I chose to paint an old cupboard. So dont ever think this has nothing to do with creativity.
The word, the shared word, is creative too. Spread the love I reckon.
Posted by: Trina | September 23, 2008 at 09:01 PM
I miss her! I miss her blog!
Where is she??????
God bless her!
Celine
Posted by: Celine | September 24, 2008 at 09:35 AM
i have fallen into all the traps of blogging that you have described. it's addicting and draining and for what? maybe we should just remember why we started in the first place. but maybe not, because circumstances change, life changes.
Posted by: aran | September 24, 2008 at 01:18 PM
I miss her too!
I was hoping she had just gotten a new domain name but when I googled "felicity" and "ATBB" this post came up so I'm concerned!
Posted by: jessica claire | September 25, 2008 at 06:26 AM
I didn't understand what was going on until I asked {this is glamarous}. Needless to say, I miss her blog. Why would she go all "Style Bytes" on us is a mystery, I just hope she is OK and happy. I suspected when Agathe deleted StyleBytes maybe she was afraid of stalkers, but Felicty was pretty much anonymous and EVERYBODY loved her. Why delete it, WHY?? If I had known I would have backed up some of those useful and inspirational information she had on her blog...
Posted by: alis | September 26, 2008 at 02:03 AM
Dear Corine and friends,
I send you hugs and I send you smiles - I write this with little tears in my eyes - tears that I have made you sad and sadness that ATBAB is no more that I cannot bring sunshine to your days as I used to.
Why delete a blog and tell no one?
Because if I had - I would have not had the courage to go ahead - my sadness and your sadness and collective voices would have stopped me.
Sometimes when we ponder a thing for a long time and the circumstance finally arrives in a sliver of a window of opportunity - the impetus is so strong that you know if you don't do it now you just wont do it.
And so I jumped in and took it.
And I took down my email as I couldn't face the magnitude of taking down a blog that I had worked on for the year and also the collective sadness it could possibly bring.
Some thoughts and reasons......
Blogging is addictive - sometimes you cant just stop and leave it there - because you just cant help but come back to it - ayah!! I'm an all or nothing girl - unfortunately
The whole copyright thing was weighing heavily on me.
I struggled with bringing beauty all the time when there is so much suffering.
My back was killing me!! :-)
Initially I started blogging because I wanted to share the beautiful things I found - then it became about community then finding original material and then technorati ratings and reader numbers and ayah - it all got skewed.
Getting new material means you've always got the blog in the back of your mind - be it when you're on the bus, reading the paper or talking with friends... for me it got a bit ridiculous seriously !! when your 3 year old sees you on the computer and goes MUMMY STOP BLOGGING you know there's something a bit awry.
Also I personally wouldn't want my children to spend the amount of time on the computer that I was spending - so I didn't want to give them that as an example for life.
I think I've seen more nudity/obscenity in the past 12 months than I have in my entire life times 10 from trawling through photographers sites and my heart doesn't want to see any more.....
Opening up yourself on the internet also opens you up for fair game to whoever is out there, no matter what your intentions.
When you spend enough time on something you end up becoming it, and it is not what I want to become.
My cherubs are all the more happier for it. And in the strangest of ways it is amazingly liberating - not that I'm advocating a mass blog deletion!:-) :-) :-). Just wanted to let you know what its like from "the other side"
Its not that I have left you I am still here - just not up front bamboozling you with techni - colours and spelling mistakes:-)
Hugs and love and I'm still here - just recovering from the "loss" - in a good and bad way and working on my photography and printing up a family album with iphoto :-), working on the family blog, pondering the effects of the stock market fallout & wondering what the future will hold, taking my boy out for adventures, reconnecting with God, loving DY Blog consultant extrordinaire ( who I didn't tell for 2 days about the blog deletion bit as he'd bemoan the hours wasted! :-) and trying to get my back back into working order!!
I'll leave the mystery as to who I am as a mystery:-)
PS - hugs especially to you Corine and LOVE THE accompanying images :-) :-) :-) Fear not - I'll be back visiting - I'm still nursing those twinlettes - yes still!! :-)
Hugs bug and take care
Love Felicity XOX
Posted by: all things bright and beautiful | October 01, 2008 at 05:15 AM
Thanks Corine to let me know this and thanks Felicity for saying good bay, I need it.
Felicity,You are like my mother blogger and I need to know that you were ok and of course I understand your motives and the addictive side of it that I am trying to manage,I used to be an addict to reading and now is to blogging, I will try to go on blogging but I am going to be off line the moment my kids came back to the school.
Thanks for every thing.
Love
Posted by: karina | October 01, 2008 at 06:04 AM
Felicity,
yes, so happy that you have posted an explanation!
yoga and pilates will help your back, and perhaps acupuncture. i've used both, plus physical therapy...strangely, strong abdominal muscles help the back and neck and tight pectoral muscles (from leaning forward to nurse the babies) cause mid-back pain.
so relieved to see your post, here.
Posted by: virginia | October 01, 2008 at 09:47 AM
I'm so glad I came here, and that Felicity has left a comment.
I was concerned when her blog came down and e-mails were returned, but I somehow knew that she was just making things right in her life.
I wish Felicity the best of everything, and I'm glad to read that she will occasionally be popping around.
Posted by: Beverly | October 01, 2008 at 01:43 PM
Best wishes my friend Felicity. We miss you. xo
Posted by: Liberty Post Editor | October 01, 2008 at 04:09 PM
mystery solved...we can all wish her well.
Posted by: susan buchanan | October 01, 2008 at 04:20 PM
I am so glad I found this final note from Felicity. I have never responded to a blog before but AFB&B was my absolute favourite and I was so shocked when it was removed. I fully understand wanting to spend more time with your children (I have five myself) I do wish you had left it there for all to back reference, but I guess the temptation would always be there to go back to it.
Missing you but wishing you the best.
Posted by: Carol | October 01, 2008 at 08:02 PM
Felicity via Corine - thank you for contacting the blog-world - As you can tell, we miss you. I sent out a message from my blog to anyone who had any of your blogging tips and techniques saved - and I connected with someone in Argentina - amazing this blog-thing - yes, addictive, and yes my daughter is always telling me that I am always at the computer and she is 16! Enjoy your time with your family and your own private pleasures and relaxation. leave a comment here and there ... maybe you can do a nice little book with some of your pictures and blogging tips and techniques ...
Be well - your name is so perfect - you have given so many people happiness - through beautiful pictures and terrific tips that certainly helped me
best, marnie
Posted by: Marnie | October 01, 2008 at 08:28 PM
I am so glad she commented on here to understand what had happened. Sorry to see her blgo go. I loved it. Daisy~
Posted by: daisy | October 02, 2008 at 07:18 AM
Felicity, I'm so glad to know that you are ok. I've been thinking of you, missing you and worrying that something was not right. Now that I know though, I completely understand. Although that doesn't mean I don't wish your lovely blog was still there. It was a thing of great beauty and a remarkable achievement. Take care and thank you for the inspiration and support you gave me in the early days of blogging. I won't forget it.
Corrine, thank you for positing this!
Posted by: Peonies and Polaroids | October 04, 2008 at 06:49 AM
well, i'm glad i found this post, because i've been worried! thanks, hidden in france!
to felicity-
i'm just so glad you are ok. we'll miss you, but hopefully you'll be visiting us every so often (even anonymously is cool)
oxoxo- c, m & r
Posted by: maison21 | October 05, 2008 at 01:51 AM
And there are the answers. Thank you C and Felicity. I can only imagine how consuming the blog was and the pressure to keep it up to the level you achieved. I was spending way too much time on the computer on the weekends, cruising from site to site, instead of working on my own creative projects. I put my foot down on me. I cannot even imagine accomplishing what you did over the past year with new twins! And always remaining so positive! You must be a fantastic mother. I am proud of your decision. Take care
Cat
Posted by: Cat | October 06, 2008 at 10:50 AM
Felicity I miss you already. But I fully support your reasons for leaving. Be in touch though if you ever feel like it!
Posted by: Polka Dot Bride | October 06, 2008 at 05:48 PM
Dear Corinne, and Felicity.
I found Felicity's blog by surfing one interesting blog after the other. The beauty that was presented was such a source of inspiration to me that I think I must've looked att all the posts at least once.
I was away from my computer for a vacation and when I got back, the blog was gone.. vanished.
I've been checking it frequently to see if it was just a glitch and hoping it would be back.
I actually did a google search to try and see if anyone knew anything about it, and I thank you Corinne for your post.
And mostly, thank you Felicity, for sharing all this beauty with us so far and for giving us who were missing you some insight in what happend.
I wish you nothing but love and happiness.
Hugs from Sweden.
Posted by: szilvia | October 08, 2008 at 10:42 AM
Sorry Corine with one n.. not two!
^_^
Posted by: szilvia | October 08, 2008 at 10:46 AM
Well, a least Felicity is Ok and happy with her family. I have awful thoughts about what happen.
Bye Felicity.
Take care.
Be happy.
^^
Posted by: Juniper | October 10, 2008 at 10:00 AM
Thanks Corine for the post.
I'm a bit behind on my blogging and just (shockingly)discovered ATBAB was gone.
Felecity I am glad you are well and wish you the best in your creative endeavors and life.
Bisou, you will be missed!
Posted by: Country French Antiques | October 11, 2008 at 05:04 AM
Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle: http://tinyurl.com/4z7pno
Posted by: Jenny, Bloggess | October 12, 2008 at 02:39 PM
Wow Felicity, thank you so much for coming and sharing so we can stop worrying!
You said "I struggled with bringing beauty all the time when there is so much suffering." and I do agree, but you must know that the light of your work helped many who were feeling dark, for whatever reason.
I do know what you went through though, and can only imagine what it must have been like, and is like now, to pull the blog on such a piece of art. I am lucky in that I am a journalist and so my blog represents yet another outlet for me. It can become real serious when one starts to worry about advertising, numbers of viewers, ranking, marketing, etc. but when it's still a hobby, it's a lovely one to have.
Best of luck to you and yours.
Tamara
Posted by: ModernGearTV | October 14, 2008 at 01:54 PM
Thank you Corine for writing this!!
So grateful to see Felicity's
Thinking of you and Felicity and sending a smile!
xox
Constance
Posted by: rochambeau | November 07, 2008 at 06:21 PM
Hi Felicity! just read this and i'm glad to know you're ok! I miss ATBB very much as its one of the sites i always go to for that dose of colour and inspiration. but i totally understand as i'm super busy with my babies as well. i havent been able to find time to post frequently anymore. All the best and enjoy your family time together:)
Posted by: Affinity | November 24, 2008 at 12:34 AM
Hi Felicity! just read this and i'm glad to know you're ok! I miss ATBB very much as its one of the sites i always go to for that dose of colour and inspiration. but i totally understand as i'm super busy with my babies as well. i havent been able to find time to post frequently anymore. All the best and enjoy your family time together:)
Posted by: Affinity | November 24, 2008 at 12:39 AM
Well, well, well.
I was on a blog tonight and I swear I thought I saw Felicity there again. And I can't remember where I was! I was so sure she was back. So I went to the link on my blog, and that dreaded dead deleted screen came up.
So I Googled her, and found my way to Corrine, and this whole incredible blog saga.
So the mystery is solved.
Felicity pulled the plug to be a better mom.
I wish her well.
She was a pure blogger.
What's amazing is that she was blogging for only a year. One year! And it sounds like she was blogging for eons. I think a month in blog time is like uber dog years or something.
Anyway, I salute all you bloggers out there, horribly addicted and fiercely loved!
And Corrine, I wish you well, and a Merry Chirstmas.
xo xo
Posted by: Visual Vamp | December 20, 2008 at 10:31 PM
Felicity will be missed, but if and when she comes back at least she'll have perspective. I sometimes feel the same way, wondering what it would be like to just 'delete' and join the peace corps or something! Then again, a blog like hers would have been a wonderful archive to peruse. Maybe one day she'll revive it, if so it will be a collector's item, propelling her to further stardom :)
I bet she's a great mom and we haven't seen the last of her, at least I hope not! Great interview and thanks for this post!
Posted by: the paris apartment | December 23, 2008 at 07:58 PM